Friday, October 31, 2008

Harriet, the mirror and some grief about something.

On Thursday night I got this text message from Harriet:
I've just got home and i'm going to take my pants off and spread my legs in front of the mirror and open my cunt and play with myself thinking about sucking your handsome cock.
With the way i feel i would really like you here to fuck me and take control. A bit of discipline would make me feel better.
Now, I don't need to tell you that I love getting something like this. I was just leaving my apartment when I got it, on my way out for dinner with an old friend. He's a former colleague of mine, one of the very few people I've ever met in my line of work who I actually like spending time with. We hadn't spoken for a couple of years then he rang me a couple of months ago, he'd just gotten out of rehab (cocaine and heroin; i said i was impressed) and I was the first person he called. Which I rather liked. We catch up every couple of weeks.

I went over to his place, he showed me his art collection, then he cooked dinner. He's an exquisite cook (and no, he's not gay). He made, among other things, a plain green salad that was, I told him later, the finest salad I'd ever eaten. We had a very agreeable conversation and it was all very pleasant, but after I'd left I felt vaguely unsettled, as I usually do after seeing him.

Next morning I get a text from Harriet.
My text to you last night wasn't an invitation for you to come around, I was just saying how i felt. Your ignoring it made me feel foolish, It hurt. Please don't take this the wrong way, i understand our agreement but sometimes i struggle with how shallow this kind of sex is. i love it and i need it and i'm very appreciative of you.. its just hard sometimes. i'm a woman I do want to fuck you next week, very much. I just need a couple of days to get back to you.
For a start, that's WAY too long for a text message.


Anonymous said...

*laughs* at the last part of your post -- I can write text essays, proper punctuation and all :-).

Wow, that's an impressive flip-out but I have some empathy with where she's coming from. Being sexy and brave and assertive sometimes rebounds into embarrassment and humiliation if a message is sent into the big dark void and isn't responded to.

Insecurities are weird beasts, sometimes, and have trouble staying in their boxes. You, however, come across as being more comfortable and practised with compartmentalisation while she has a way to go.

But it's an interesting red flag.

J said...

I do feel bad about though. I loved getting that text and it was a bit churlish of me to not acknowledge it.

I apologised, and said I'd been out to dinner when I got it and hadn't had a chance to respond. That seems to have calmed her down.

But I've felt all along with Harriet that this could all blow up any second, so I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I did get extra points for suggesting, earlier in the week, that we go out for dinner as a precursor to our next sexual adventure. She liked that, as I suspected she would.

Anonymous said...

You live dangerously :-).

Is casual sex ever just sex? *sighs*