You're what?

My friend Cindy sent me a text on Wednesday saying that she was thinking of me and that she was 'horney'. What? She'd texted that word to me once before but I'd written it off as a careless typo, but twice..? I can't possibly plunge the tusk with someone who can't spell, especially that word.

And as if that wasn't enough we'd had dinner a couple of hours earlier, and she'd surprised me. I was telling her a not-especially-hilarious anecdote about an acquaintance of mine who'd gone to live in Mumbai and was running a factory that made pies (you had to be there. Dinner, not Mumbai) and she said "where's Mumbai?"