Gallery

I have a friend who owns a small gallery. She invites me along whenever she's having an opening, which is what happened tonight. I go straight from work; I wear a suit. The crowd is typically:

50% women
20% gay men
10% straight men who are starving artists
15% straight men who are partners of the women
5% single straight men who have a real job

I'm most of that last 5% (although 'straight' is probably stretching the definition a bit far, given that I've had sex with like a thousand men....). My function is to flirt with her friends and clients, she sometimes calls me 'the bait', or once, memorably, 'the tethered goat'. I was secretly in love with her for months last year but I've gotten over it.