Friday, July 18, 2008

Faking it

I thought only women faked orgasms, until I started doing it myself. As you can imagine, it's more difficult for a man to fake an orgasm (there's come, after all) but the reality is that if you're fucking someone and you have a condom on, they're not going to pick up the discarded condom and look for evidence of actual come in it. So in that situation it's quite do-able. But why? This is something I never imagined wanting to do. To be fucking someone and not wanting to come - surely that's the whole point?

Yes and no. I can think of three reasons why you'd want to fake coming.

First, you might be fucking someone and you're just not into it. Now if you're 25 that's not a problem, but if you're in your 40s and you don't fancy someone it's going to take a lot more work for you to come, and as you run it through the cost-benefit analysis (this all in real-time, as you're fucking), you realise that getting it over with is more important to you than coming. So you fake it....

Second, and this is the most surprising - sometimes you're fucking someone, and you've been playing for a while and it's all been great and you're totally into it.. and you realise that the overall quality of this particular sexual encounter is going to be great whether you end up coming or not. (Hard to explain to a 25yo, I know.) Sometimes the journey's more fun than the destination, or something like that. And the extra effort involved in coming - that mad dash to the finishing line - seems not to add anything. (One of my women friends told me this happens to her quite often. She says that she can have incredibly satisfying sexual experiences that don't neccesarily end in her coming. Or maybe she's just saying that to humor me...) So you fake it..

Third is due to overscheduling. You may be fucking someone at midnight and be aware that you have another assignation the next day at, say, lunchtime (this happened to me. today). For some guys this wouldn't be too challenging, but I'm always worried that going again too soon I'll lose wood. And there really is nothing quite like being really horned up. So you fake it..

Sometimes there's an unexpected bonus. Last night, I had very nice sex with Judith. And for reason number 3 I faked coming (and a bit of reason number 2 too). But after I'd 'come', we started playing again.. and lo and behold, I was just as horny as I'd been before I 'came'. She thinks I'm a truly legendary swordsman.


Anonymous said...

I love it! No one ever talks about this.

Anonymous said...

this is an intensely interesting post. And to be honest, I have inspected condoms for come before. I was young and worried my boyfriend wasn't coming during sex (he wasn't) and he wasn't even faking! He was my first, I was so spoiled, everything in bed was about me and my happiness.... It didn't even occur to me until after like a year with him that something was up.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog and your writing.

I think many women assume that men cannot fake an orgasm or, as some men say in reference to women faking theirs that, "They'd know."

You're proof that women can be as gullible as men. I like that.