Some loose ends.

You remember I spent a few days with Claire and both of our kids down on the coast in January? We were in a small seaside town there, and I discovered a few days before going down that another good friend of mine, the one who made the finest green salad I'd ever eaten, was going to be down there at the same time. Everything's connected...

I introduced Claire to him, and all our kids (I had 2 of mine, Claire had her 3, my friend had 2) amused themselves nicely and we settled into this lovely routine of spending days at the beach, evenings in one or another of the houses, eating, drinking, singing. My kids said later they'd never seen me so happy. We made plans to do it again next year.

My friend died shortly thereafter in an accident.

Also, when we got back to Sydney I had a day there with my sons and I decided I needed a haircut so we went to visit Harriet. They thought she was a nice lady, which she is. She texted me later "Your boys were totally what I expected, very sweet and polite.. handsome too".

Update on that job interview.

You will recall, I'm sure, my fabulous roleplay thing I was doing last week, or was it the week before?

She came up to my apartment, as agreed. And as I opened the door I saw that she was quite a bit older than she'd let on. She was, I think, somewhere in her 50s but in pretty good shape so I made an instant decision to keep on with it.

After a few minutes I could tell that I was distinctly unaroused and I knew that I was going to have to say something before it became too obvious. I broke character, looked her in the eyes. "Jenny", I said, "I'm sorry but this just isn't working for me".

She took it quite gracefully. We both got dressed and chatted a bit to cover it up, then she left.

Roleplay

I put a listing in the local equivalent of Craigslist:

Imaginative and fundamentally decent early40s man in Eastern suburbs, looking for adventurous younger woman for the occasional roleplay adventure. I could be your new boss and you're an eager new employee... or I'm a cop and I've booked you speeding... anything that gives the encounter a bit of oomph and scope for imagination. I'm open to sensible ideas.

Limits very much respected.

I got a response back from a woman in her late 30s, "N". Never done anything like this before, didn't say a lot. She said she was keen and wanted me to describe a scenario...

N -

There's no set way to go about it, and it'd be up to us to come up with something that made sense. When I've done this in the past it works best if you and I talk first (ideally without meeting, phone is good) to get a feel for what we both like, and for me to know what gets you going and what your limits are and whatnot.

But roughly speaking, we work out what kind of a setup it is, and how the first couple of minutes goes.. and then we take it from there. I like it to start out pretty realistic, so if we were doing a job interview it'd start out pretty normal (we would have had to decide in advance what sort of job it was, so we have something to work with). But then I'd point out that there are plenty of applicants for the job and that for someone to land the job they'd have to be able to show me that they were really really keen to get it. And so on.

It doesn't always work. Sometimes one or both people get the giggles, or it just seems too implausible. But when it does work, and you stay in character for a while, it can be lot of fun. I think what makes it really intense is that you can sort of tell yourself that it's not you doing whatever it is you're doing, it's your character. Makes it all a bit more deniable.

Anyway. There's a point in the interview (or whatever the situation is) where you say you'd do anything to get the job. I love that. "Anything?.. really...?" After that it starts to get a bit more hands-on. And what happens after that depends a bit on what you and i talk about beforehand, and what you like and don't like. I have a nice professional appearance, I'm well-spoken and (I've been told) quite handsome. But I'm also a bit of a middle-aged pervert so don't be afraid to tell me what you like.

This seemed to grab her attention and she asked for more detail:

N -

I'll take a deep breath and dive in, shall I? I did warn you... these are just suggestions, of course. It could go any way we want it to.

For a start. there'd be some fairly inappropriate touching through your clothes. Grazing your breasts with the palms of my hands, that sort of thing. You'd be embarrassed, uncomfortable, but at the same time I'd remind you that there are a hundred applicants for the job, and that I need to make sure you really want it.

I'd have to think of some quasi-believable reason to touch you like that, so that, at least at first, even though it's not entirely normal it's not completely abnormal either. This part could go on for quite a while. Your buttocks, thighs etc. I'd be quite calm and nice about it, but you'd have to go along. It becomes obvious that there's quite a bit more to this job interview than you expected. And it'd fun too I can tell you're getting aroused despite yourself. And you know I can tell.

Then I'd get you to undress, I'd have some pretext for seeing what you look like naked. You would of course protest, but I'd remind you that you have to. And on it goes.

Once naked... well, I could get you to show yourself off to me. Or, maybe, explore your body with my hands. After this is all gets a bit blurry.. but here's a few things in point form (I'm tired and can't write coherent sentences any more tonight)...

- i could get you to suck my cock
- i could make you masturbate while I watch
- i could fuck you (actually, this is pretty much always going to be on the menu)
- depending on what we'd agreed beforehand, I could play with your ass, maybe fuck you there

Just a few ideas... any of this appeal? If this is too much for you I can tone it down. Or if there's anything else you like, let me know. (spanking, watersports, bondage.. see, i told you i'm a pervert. But a nice one)

She just emailed back and said yes to everything except the ass-fucking. I can live with that. More to follow...

Poly.

You may recall (I certainly do) that a couple of weeks ago a friend invited me to a party where I had some fun with four women. And yes, I know exactly how unlikely that sounds.

It was Amanda. We'd met on a fetish-themed site, and we'd gotten chatting. She had had fantasies for ages and was just dipping her toe in the water. We got on well, but she said she wouldn't play with me - despite the fact that our interests are very compatible - because she was looking for something a little more exclusive. Not just a bit of fun now and again, which is what I'm after. She wanted a committed relationship, within which she could then indulge her fetishes. Fair enough, I guess. (But what about Mr Right Now, I asked?)

She's since become quite involved with the local BDSM community, she goes to the munches and whatnot and has subsequently met quite a lot of fat red-haired women who have many cats. And thin, shifty men.

A few days ago I was chatting to her on msn. She told me about a recent BDSM munch thingy she'd been to.

she: I met someone who I cuddled and kissed for hours

me:whats he like

she: young, little out there, smart. he's poly. he has 2 or 3 girls

me:am i poly? or am i just a slut? what's the difference?

she:i'm not sure of the defintion hehe lol. i think poly has multiple relationships. that include emotional attachments

Now, I guess this is progress of a sort. She had originally said she wouldn't play with me because I was 'poly'. But now, she will play with men who say they're poly, but not with men like me who just sleep around. I must remember this. But I felt surprisingly troubled by this exchange. Leaving aside for a moment my suspicion that she's being sold a pup by this glib young man, I'm just a little uncomfortable with the notion that I'm just (at least in her eyes) going about this very mechanically. There's a clear implication that I don't have any emotional attachment to the women I'm having sex with. It's just organ-grinding.

I was curious though. I told her about Sarah, as a not atypical example. We see each other not quite once a week. We know the names of each others' kids. We've spend a weekend together at the beach. We spend more time talking than fucking. We eat together. I ran this by Amanda and her verdict was that even if I did qualify as poly (which she doubted), Sarah's definitely a slut. Because she's married.

Sugasm 161.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #162? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

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The Balance of Power
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Betrayal
“What’s this? Evidence of pleasure?”

Secret signals
“I will adore him for it”

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Not An Overnight

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The Ghost of Abuse

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Utopics

I found this on a profile today. Sensational stuff... especially sea horses.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am a simple girl that enjoys getting attentions.

But i also demand respect for my own space

I love:
sea, horses, history, family, big laughts
I Hate:
lies, utopics, segregation, thinking within the box
My Ideal Person:
I am looking for a man.

Lisa's coming over

I was just chatting with Lisa (no, I haven't mentioned her before, but I'll fill you in later) and I told her what I was up to today (gym, piano, accountant, evening drinks) and she said that she was going to put aside part of her afternoon to masturbate.

So I had a brainwave. "You could come over here to my place and masturbate while I'm doing my taxes, and I can watch you out of the corner of my eye."

She thought that was a great idea and said that in that case, she'd bring some toys with her. More later..

I've had days like this at work too.

In case you're curious...

Me again.

So where's the missus...?

I've been having a few messages back and forth on some hookup site with a couple.. or maybe just a guy. And that's the issue. He's early 50s, bi, likes fucking guys, and if I believe his story, he was a wife in her early 40s who likes to join in. They live not far from me. So far so good, right?

I ran into him again this morning on msn and he said he was there with his wife and she wanted to see my bod. I was happy to oblige. Then she, apparently, wanted to see my cock. Again, happy to oblige. But at the same time I'm quite aware of the fact that there's a good chance that there's no wife.. it's just him.

Then he said, of course, that rather than the three of us meeting up, she wants him to meet me first. Oh, and she doesn't just want him to meet me.. she apparently wants him to fuck me as well.

So while they're on msn with me I gave them my landline number and asked them to call me. Just enough to say hello, didn't have to be a long call at all. He said that they'd call me on Tuesday. Tuesday? Huh? This is when I really start to smell a rat. If he's on the level he's there with his wife, it's 8am on a Sunday morning, they're very keen to meet.. and all of a sudden she's in the shower. And he can call me but she can't. So I said they should call me when she gets out of the shower. But no, he wants to call me on Tuesday. He knows exactly what my issue is. I don't think she exists. He knows why I'm keen for them (or her, really) to call me. And if she was real it'd be very easy to prove....

Postcript: He had told me a while ago that he has a mild foot fetish, and wanted to see my feet. Which I showed him on cam. No harm in that. Anyway, I do love having my feet rubbed, but it's just not really a very sexual thing. But there are some fetishes I can easily accomodate and that's one of them.

So today when I was chatting with him and his alleged wife, he told me that she had a foot fetish as well. And she wanted to see my feet. Right... anyway, I did it. I showed him (or possibly, them) my feet. He said that she wanted to see me come on my feet. Now, of course I'm smelling a pretty huge rat by this point (what an amazing coincidence... his wife likes feet too!) so I declined.

Just after lunch

I was at Tony's BBQ during the week, the one with the cops and firefighters and whatnot, and it was very good fun. I have a running joke with my ex about it; he imagines it (quite vividly) as a seething fuck-fest of hot masculine men; the reality's quite a bit tamer.

I was able to tell him the next day that I was, in fact, the first guy to get in the spa naked (there were a couple of guys in there already, but with speedos on), which he loved.

And then I told him that at one point, with 8 or 9 guys in the spa, someone starting asking each of us when was the last time (if ever) that we'd had sex with a woman (remember, this is a gay party). Please ask me, I thought.. and sure enough the question eventually came around to me. "Just after lunch", I said.

Spitroast.

I was at the beach yesterday with Claire (who, you will no doubt remember, I'm always a bit in love with) and as we were lying there together she asked me:

Claire: So what about this woman you're seeing?
Me: (pause) err... which one?
Claire: The one you're sleeping with
Me (longer pause)
Claire (rolls her eyes), oh, sorry, I forgot.. "which one?"

So I told her about I'd been up to with my mate the cop and Tina, and where I was with Judith and Joan. And the married one I've started seeing (no, you haven't heard about her yet).

Claire liked the stuff about me and my cop mate and Tina, and she made a series of gestures with her hands, like she was playing with dolls. "What's it called again, when the woman has a cock in her mouth and one at the other end?".

I really couldn't do that with Claire.

Men vs Women

I've been asked a few times what are the biggest differences between having sex with men or with women. There are a few, as you'd expect, but one of the biggest and most important is this: if you're having a woman come over to your place for sex, you have to make sure the place is reasonably tidy, you have to change the sheets and make sure the bathroom's clean.

With men, all you need to do is make sure you have lube and condoms. They don't care about the rest.