You'll never guess what happened to me (so I'll tell you)...

The weekend before last something happened that was so implausible that I've been reluctant to tell anyone. It sounds so obviously made-up. But of course, I can share it with you.

It was almost 9pm and I was at home. I'd been playing piano and getting ready to go out. I'd been invited to a party at a friend of a friend's place and it was a theme party, which I usually loathe but I was quite looking forward to it (theme: Las Legas). I'd had a very good day and was feeling very social and flirty.

Then, just as I was about to step out the door, I got a text from Amanda.

Amanda? She's someone I'd stumbled across on a fetish/BDSM site. Early 40s, thoughtful and articulate. She'd never really done anything non-vanilla but had fantasies that were burning her up - she liked very much the idea of being controlled, used nicely by a thoughtful older man and she was especially interested in watersports. We started chatting.

She didn't want to get up to anything with me because she said I was 'poly'. Which is a word she must have picked up from chatting with people, and it means 'slut'. What she was looking for, as they often are, was a man who would fit into the fantasies she had and who was also looking for an longterm monogamous thing. A man who, I pointed out to her, might not exist.

She and I met for lunch one day and got on nicely. Then I accompanied her to a munch where she met, I had predicted, a lot of fat red-headed women who have cats. And where she and I were probably the only people who didn't smoke cigarettes. I have the wholesome looks of a television sportscaster and I stand out a mile at these things; I love it.

We had settled into an easy friendship and I'd figured out we were never going to play. She knew, however, that I'm very keen on watersports and I had asked her to keep her out for any women she met who were interested in a bit of occasional fun.

So when I got this text, it said she was in a house in a suburb not too far from where I was and that she was with three other women and they were playing with each other and would I like to come along? A couple of texts back and forth and I established that she was quite serious (as well a bit drunk) and that what these women were proposing was that I come over for a while and we all piss on each other. What? Well, two of them had seen me at the munch and remembered who I was, and when Amanda had mentioned to them that I was looking for some piss action they'd seized on the opportunity and decided to invite me over.

I jumped in a cab straight away, and because I was enroute to this Vegas-themed thing I was wearing a very sharp off-white suit with a black shirt and due to a couple of things that had happened already that day I was feeling very sharp and full of myself too. (I had called my friend who was going to the Vegas party and told her that I would be late due to a last-minute sexual emergency of an unspecified nature - she was very understanding.)

I arrived at the house and there were, indeed, 4 drunk and very frisky women there. Aside from Amanda and the other two who'd met briefly there was a very attractive, tall Czech woman. There had been a lot of drinking and girl-on-girl action going on, which doesn't excite me as much as it excites most men, I suspect because I'm not completely straight.

Belinda, whose house it was, had set up in the backyard a sunlounge with a towel over it and there was also a small spa pool. But before we went outside I thought that as a guest the least I could do was to fist Belinda while I chatted with the other 3. They had gotten me to undress pretty much as soon as I walked in while they stayed semi-clothed and I was feeling a huge rush of calm and smug masculinity.

We went outside. I lay on the sunlounge (Belinda telling everyone not to make too much noise, the neighbors were outside in their yard too and would be able to hear everything). I will, as usual fast-forward through the juicy bits, but two highlights stand out:

• As I lay on the sunlounge two of the women pissed on me, one directly on my cock, which I then fucked her with just a little
• Amanda and the Czech woman lay on the sunlounge facing each other, legs wide apart and cunts almost touching and I stood and pissed on them. I tried to get both of them on the clit as much as I could.

We then all lay in the spa for a while and chatted. Then, to their surprise, I got out, made a few phone calls, had a shower and put on my outfit and went off to the Vegas party.

Vegas party, by the way, was fun. Probably because of what I'd been up to I was feeling extremely social and flirty. There was one woman there I quite fancied but she was talking to another guy so I cut in and started chatting with her too and was doing quite well until the guy and I started chatting to each other and then, I realised, started flirting. He and I swapped numbers and ended up having lunch together the next day. I didn't get the girl's number; she may still be wondering what happened.