Top. Bottom.

I was on my way out yesterday afternoon when I got a text from Oona asking me what I was up to. I said I was heading out for "some cock-in-ass action" (I really should be a poet, I know) and she of course asked who the lucky lady was. This set me off, as you can imagine, so I told her that it was a gentleman, not a lady. And that it was my ass that was going to get a cock in it.

Let me backtrack for a minute here. When I first started having sex with men I was always the fucker rather than the fuckee and I didn't really think too much about it. It's pretty straightforward really as a top: there's a hole, you put your cock in it. And also there's that lingering idea that if you fuck a guy you're not really gay, whereas if you have a guy stick his cock in your ass it's pretty definite. (A friend who was in the british army told me that this was actually a strict rule there.)

But over time, I started to get curious. And one day, in a small house in the woods in a town in Connecticut, a guy fucked me. His (male) partner watched. It wasn't easy. I'm pretty tense at the best of times and his cock was quite thick, but once we managed to get it in I felt quite a sense of achievement.

So for the last few years of my marriage, I was getting fucked quite often and I got quite good at it. But in the last 18 months only, I think, three times. All with my friend the cop (and two one of those occassions there was someone else there, which as you know makes it a lot more exciting for me).

I can tell that over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling like it again, so I go online (gaydar, squirt.. the usual) to see if there's anyone suitable. I'm very fussy if I'm going to be fucked, everything has to be just right. The guy has to be:

• at least 35
• cut
• masculine
• normal-sized cock (if I'm out of practice)
• sensible
• not too far away
  

And then, if I find someone like that I start to search for reasons not to meet up. I suspect that I like the idea of being fucked more than I actually like being fucked.

So I was in this mode on Tuesday afternoon when I stumbled upon someone online who I remembered. Dave his name is. He'd fucked me before once, ages ago, and we'd chatted a bit since. My favorite fun fact about Dave is that we'd met at a party (I use the word very loosely) and he'd fucked me while a couple of other guys watched, then a couple of days later I was online and I saw a profile (on gaydar) which I recognised as his because his cock looked familiar.

Anyway, he was online on Tuesday afternoon. We chatted a bit, both of us were at home, he lives about five minutes walk from me.... easy! So I went over to his place, we played around a little, he fucked me... then we chatted a bit about work and whatnot and I went home.

It's all so agreeably straightforward.