Email.

I remembered that I'm on an email list for SydneyBiMen, and it occurred to me that it might be worth trolling on there for a guy to join me and and Lisa. So sent this out:
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Mid40s bi M here, in good shape. I meet up about once a week with a 35yo woman for a bit of daytime fun. She knows I'm bi and wants to have a bi MMF threesome thing. We've done this once before but he wasn't much chop.

So I'm looking for a bi guy to help out. Has to be 25-40, in good shape. Has to be cut. Has to be able to string a sentence together. And (this is important) has to be able to be free daytimes (mid-morning, maybe lunchtime) once in a while given a bit of notice. Location is inner east. Please don't message me if you're too far away.

I have face and body pics of myself which I'm happy to share. I have pics of her which I'm quite a bit more careful about. You have to have a couple of pics of your face to make this work.

I'm trying to state this all as clearly as possible. Please don't message me if you live in Parramatta and are uncut, can only meet on Tuesday evenings and don't have a facepic.

If I don't respond to your email, you can take that as a 'no'. Sorry to sound like a dick about it, but it's easier this way.

I don't expect any joy from this but I did have a lot of fun writing it. The picture above, by the way, is me and some guy I met on Friday morning. Married, bi, early 30s, great body. But somehow... no real sizzle (although the pic does suggest that we got on pretty well anyway). I find that one-on-one meets with guys these days leave me a bit cold.

Get back to work.

Lisa's very keen to have another MMF thingy, but this time with a guy who really is bi. So I put an ad up on Craigslist to see what would happen and within about 2 minutes I got a response. And what was particularly interesting was that the guy's email address was something like...

john.smith@somebigbank.com (a real bank, and a real name)

So I googled him! And then emailed him "Sounds great. I suggest you don't use your work email for this. I'm a shareholder and former employee. " Which is true!

Animal

I met a nice young woman who has since her teens had fantasies about being a sex toy for a nice but perverted older man. Which would be me, of course. She's now around 30, so when I say 'young woman' it's all relative. I was chatting with her yesterday on msn and it was all going well (we have surprisingly similar ideas) and then she said to me:

if you were an animal, what sort of animal would you be?

This threw me for a while, as you can imagine. She told me that her last two lovers had been, respectively, a lion and a dragon. I asked her as politely as I could whether she'd pointed out to the second guy that a dragon isn't a real animal and she said it didn't really matter. She said she was an animist and that someone's choice of animal revealed a lot about their personality.

I bought a little time for myself by saying that I grew up on a farm and had had quite enough of animals - this perhaps explains why I'm happiest in densely-populated urban areas, and even here in Australia where there's about a hundred square miles per person I've chosen to live in the densest part of it.

Then I just decided to go with it, and said that a lion was a pretty good one. What with the male lion just lazing about looking grand, the lionesses doing all the work. All the male lion has to do is eat and have sex. I am, I reminded her, very lazy.

This seemed to work for a while. Then, half an hour later as I was walking into the city to meet my new friend Joe (about whom more later) I texted her saying that maybe a silverback gorilla was better for me. Lion, after all, isn't original. Also, a gorilla has opposable thumbs. That seemed to satisfy her.

Fantasist.

Last week I was in Melbourne all week (I had a friend coming up to Sydney, so we swapped) and it was very agreeable. I got a chance to catch up with some friends. At one point I was sitting in a cafe in Chapel St with a woman I had a huge crush on when I was 16 and by a remarkable coincidence a friend of hers walked past, saw us and joined us. And, predictably, I had had an even huger crush on the friend when I was 16. It was that sort of week.

On the Monday I drove my friend's manual (!?!) car over to the other side of the city to meet a guy I'd been chatting with for a day or two on gaydar. He was about 50 and judging by his pics was reasonably attractive and what appealed to me about him was that he was just very straightforward. He likes being in charge, he likes to fuck. And I was in that sort of mood. Not lets meet up for coffee and chat to see if we get on (so often a passion-killer), it was more like walk in the door, clothes off and do what you're told. Which is, of course, what I often like to do with women.

And it was great fun, but I'll spare you the details. I sometimes think I like the idea of being fucked a lot more than I like actually being fucked, but I did pretty well. Then, after we were dressed we chatted a little. And in the 15 or 20 minutes we chatted he must have told me at least half a dozen times that he'd been on the global management team of [large manufacturer of telecoms equipment] and that he'd been a dancer and a professional motorcycle racer and a few other things and I couldn't help thinking that for someone so accomplished he lived in a remarkably crappy house. It unnerves me when people bullshit too much, but he was an IT guy and it was all a bit Walter Mitty-ish and pretty harmless. For the first few minutes we chatted I quite liked him but then I got slightly creeped out.

Pervert.

Lisa gave me a birthday card which said, in part "... happy birthday to the sexiest middle-aged pervert I know".

I love that.

Real Estate.

I'd been chatting a while with a guy, let's call him Adam, about having some fun with his wife. And today we finally made it work.

I was at home mid-morning, as I often am. There was a knock on the door, I opened it. There was Adam and his wife. I'd never met them before and I was agreeably surprised. Both late 40s. He's about 5'8" with a very masculine, friendly face and a very matter-of-fact mien which I quite liked. She's almost six feet tall, dark-haired, attractive. She thought they'd come to look at my apartment as a real estate investment.

Adam and I had set this up. He'd assured me that she loved this sort of thing - she would go into what he called slut-mode and so long as I agreed to obey their rules (I wasn't allowed to kiss her, for example) he and I could do all sorts of things with her. I asked about a few things I like to do and he said that she'd do whatever we asked. This concerned me, so I pushed a bit. "What if I ask her to do something that's she really doesn't like, can she say no?" and he said that yes, she did indeed have free will. Otherwise it would creep me out somewhat.

Anyway. Once they came into my apartment and asked a couple questions about the place, I handed her a piece of paper which had written on it "Slut - go into the corner. Take your underwear off. Show us your ass and cunt.". She read this and then gave him a look which spoke volumes. It was that look someone has when they're told that they're on candid camera, but twinged with affectionate spousal annoyance and a bit of sexual excitement as well. He told me later that they'd been a couple for 25 years. And it showed, in a good way.

So she went into the corner, hiked her skirt up, her panties down and did indeed show us the goods. I made a cup of tea for Adam and me and we chatted a bit between ourselves. Then we got to work fucking her. He had a lovely thick cut cock and I had to remind myself more than once that (for the purposes of this little adventure) I'm 100% straight.

Then, after we'd all cleaned up I made her a cup of tea as well and we sat around chatting. They said that until about a year ago they'd never done anything like that, but that she loved it and he loved facilitating. Then they went off very happily to have lunch.

Busy day.

On Monday morning I got a text from Sarah, asking if I was free at all during the day. As luck would have it, I didn't have a whole hell of a lot on, so I suggested mid-morning. She showed up at ten. We had very enjoyable sex then lay around in my bed for an hour chatting. It was a gorgeous morning, crisp and sunny, and being in bed with a naked woman was a perfect way to spend it. I do feel sorry for people who have to work. We mostly talked about food. Then we went out for lunch and she went off.

In the afternoon, I was on a gay site I frequent and I stumbled across an interesting listing on the message board. A guy in a hotel room downtown, wanted to be fucked and wanted the whole thing to be videod. I thought about this for a while and then my exhibitionist streak got the better of me and I called the guy who was going to be videoing it. He seemed pretty much on the level, so after dinner (and theater) I jumped in a cab and went over there.

Sure enough. Hotel room. One guy (masculine, cheerful, late30s) semi-naked on the bed. Another guy, mid20s with a video camera. I quizzed them about what they were up to and eventually got comfortable enough with the situation to get my clothes off. I was drinking beer and feeling especially blokey as I fucked the guy, and I couldn't resist making it all a bit porny. While we were making out at the start I remembered something I used to do with Harriet, and I poured beer on my cock and balls and got him to lick it off. I angled the beer bottle so that the camera could see it nice and clearly. Product placement, I must have a chat to FBG about that.

What a nice thing to say!

I'm chatting with a horny 40ish woman who lives a couple of hours away from here. She's at home today with some illness, and the inactivity has made her horny (she says). She wanted to see what my cock looked like, and as you can imagine I don't need much persuasion to whip it out and show it on cam. Then, after a bit more chit-chat she said this:

ok i have you ....now i have a picture of you i am going to take more drugs masturbate and sleep

Lisa and the plumbers.

Lisa came over today just after lunch. I'd just come back from a run and I knew I only had a few minutes before she showed up, so I jumped in the shower and... no water! I made a quick phone call and discovered that there were some guys somewhere in the building fixing something, and as I wasn't too crusty I just let it lie.

Then when Lisa knocked on my door and I let her in, I noticed a stepladder in the hallway (I'm on the top floor of my building, they access the roof through the ceiling just outside my door) and I chatted briefly to the nice young man who was climbing down and he assured me that he was, in fact, there to fix some plumbing mishap and wondered if I might be able to help him a bit later on. Which I said yes to, of course, and ushered Lisa in.

Lisa and I chatted for a minute then started fucking. I love fucking with Lisa, she's funny and adventurous and I find I can just turn my self-censor off and just enjoy it. Anyway, we'd reached a point where I needed to take a break (exhausted, too close to coming) and there was a knock on the door.

I hastily put some shorts on (and nothing else.. no shirt) and closed the bedroom door. I opened the front door and the plumber guy, who was a nice-looking young man in his mid 20s, asked me if I could turn on a hot tap to see if it worked. Which it did. I closed the door, went back to Lisa, we were in hysterics. The guy had seen me welcome her into the apartment, then when he'd knocked on the door there'd been a muffled "wait", then after quite a while I showed up at my door shirtless with (almost certainly) a flushed face and a boner in my shorts. I told her the plumber was kind of hot, which we agreed raised all sorts of possibilities.

Then another knock on the door. I put the shorts back on, left the bedroom door a bit open (Lisa liked this) and answered it. My plumber friend again, with his colleague. Who was also mid20s and even hotter. I told them that everything was fine, thanks and then went back to Lisa. Again, much hilarity, then some fucking.

Of course in the fantasy version I would have invited them in to fuck Lisa while I watched. She had the same idea. But we were too slow.

Pitch.

There's a profile on a BDSM-y site I'm on, a woman in her mid30s. She doesn't say much, just that she's over-educated, intelligent and has a good sense of humor. She's been on there for 2 years and says she's a novice. She says "Seduce me with words. Excite me. Make me surrender...." So I took a stab at it. Chances of a response? I'm estimating about 25%.

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How about this for an idea. You go to a man's apartment. He's in his mid-40s, you've maybe chatted with him on the phone a bit and he seems nice. Articulate, imaginative, sensible (and a bit depraved too, but in a nice way).

When you get there he takes charge of you - perhaps you're blindfolded as you walk in, you can't see him. He's nice about it, but firm and you can tell he's done this before. (You also know, after chatting with him a bit, that's he someone who knows it's all just about fun, and he'd stop if it stopped being fun.)

He has a calm voice, he talks to you as he's using you (nicely). After it's all finished you have dinner together and then plan the next adventure.

Interested? I'm open to reasonable counterproposals too. What gets you going?

I am, as you guessed, mid40s, articulate, nice(ish), sensible, somewhat depraved. And very interested in mind games of various kinds.

I finally get to fuck Penny

About two months ago I had a drink with Penny, then we tried to hook up a couple of times but due to scheduling conflicts it never quite worked out. She would also sometimes text me late at night (late for me, anyway) asking if I was free but I was always either out doing something or too tired to go out. I encouraged her in this; I do love a booty call.

Wednesday it finally worked. She was out to dinner and she sent me a text at about 9pm asking how I was. I responded succinctly: "horny". Even though I wasn't, as it happened, especially horny.

I went over to her place around 1030pm, she'd just gotten in from dinner. There was a lingering smell of marijuana and she seemed a little dazed. We talked a while and I was as charming as I could be under the circumstances and I touched her a lot to keep things going.

Then we got undressed and started fucking. She pretty much wanted to just lie there and be fucked, which is fine by me, but we were on her bed and it's very soft and I felt like I just couldn't get settled, we seemed to be moving around too much, almost bouncing, and I couldn't get my rhythm right and it was all a bit stop-start but it seemed to do the trick. She wanted me to stay the night but I was keen to get home (it was late! and that bed wouldn't be good for two people to sleep on).

I don't think we'll do it again. She did offer to cook dinner for me next time though, which does get me a bit excited.

Top. Bottom.

I was on my way out yesterday afternoon when I got a text from Oona asking me what I was up to. I said I was heading out for "some cock-in-ass action" (I really should be a poet, I know) and she of course asked who the lucky lady was. This set me off, as you can imagine, so I told her that it was a gentleman, not a lady. And that it was my ass that was going to get a cock in it.

Let me backtrack for a minute here. When I first started having sex with men I was always the fucker rather than the fuckee and I didn't really think too much about it. It's pretty straightforward really as a top: there's a hole, you put your cock in it. And also there's that lingering idea that if you fuck a guy you're not really gay, whereas if you have a guy stick his cock in your ass it's pretty definite. (A friend who was in the british army told me that this was actually a strict rule there.)

But over time, I started to get curious. And one day, in a small house in the woods in a town in Connecticut, a guy fucked me. His (male) partner watched. It wasn't easy. I'm pretty tense at the best of times and his cock was quite thick, but once we managed to get it in I felt quite a sense of achievement.

So for the last few years of my marriage, I was getting fucked quite often and I got quite good at it. But in the last 18 months only, I think, three times. All with my friend the cop (and two one of those occassions there was someone else there, which as you know makes it a lot more exciting for me).

I can tell that over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling like it again, so I go online (gaydar, squirt.. the usual) to see if there's anyone suitable. I'm very fussy if I'm going to be fucked, everything has to be just right. The guy has to be:

• at least 35
• cut
• masculine
• normal-sized cock (if I'm out of practice)
• sensible
• not too far away
  

And then, if I find someone like that I start to search for reasons not to meet up. I suspect that I like the idea of being fucked more than I actually like being fucked.

So I was in this mode on Tuesday afternoon when I stumbled upon someone online who I remembered. Dave his name is. He'd fucked me before once, ages ago, and we'd chatted a bit since. My favorite fun fact about Dave is that we'd met at a party (I use the word very loosely) and he'd fucked me while a couple of other guys watched, then a couple of days later I was online and I saw a profile (on gaydar) which I recognised as his because his cock looked familiar.

Anyway, he was online on Tuesday afternoon. We chatted a bit, both of us were at home, he lives about five minutes walk from me.... easy! So I went over to his place, we played around a little, he fucked me... then we chatted a bit about work and whatnot and I went home.

It's all so agreeably straightforward.