Monday, June 23, 2008

It's odd how sometimes sex makes you sad. I just had my friend Joan (not her real name, naturellement) over for some fun, and it was great. Some sex, then an hour or so lying in bed, talking and laughing, then more sex. It turns out she's a bit of an exhibitionist and she had picked up on a suggestion I'd made in an email yesterday about videoing some of the activites - it didn't surprise me at all, often when I'm playing with her she asks me "can you see?", as she knows I'm very visual. She knows that I'm at my most aroused when I have her with her legs spread and I'm playing with her, I realised a few months ago that she gets off on the idea of being exposed like that and played with. Which of course gets me off too, so there you are.

I met Joan late last year - I'd emailed her on an adult personals site, we messaged back and forth and ended up meeting for a drink. We got on well, and ended up having dinner. The dinner was fabulous, we had each other in fits of laughter the while time and I realised that I was in grave danger of losing sight of the sexual objective; she was, in my mind, moving from the 'fuckbuddy' box to the 'amusing dinner companion' box and that makes it tricky. If I want someone purely for sex it's actually kind of easier I don't like them that much, the only thing that's really important is sexual compatability.

I was feeling a bit panicky as the dinner finished... were we supposed to have sex then and there? I wasn't sure I could. Or was that it for tonight, and then we'd get together for sex another time? I wasn't sure that would work either. I walked her to her car and then decided to fess up: I told her that while I'd really enjoyed having dinner with her, I didn't think the whole sex thing was going to work. She looked surprised and disappointed, and I can hardly blame her - we'd gotten on great.

I cursed and went back to my place. Later I emailed her:
[Joan] -

My mistake. We spent too long talking, and in my little brain you went from the 'casual sex' category to the 'friend' category. I hate it when that happens, and I should have invited you up - I realised as soon as I got up here. D'oh! One minute of undressing and it would have switched back.
This worked, she didn't think I was completely crazy. Then I proposed a solution. To avoid the prospect of me re-categorising her, she should come to my place in the evening, let herself in, undress and then get into bed without either of us saying a word.

It worked beautifully.

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