Tuesday, April 28, 2009


In the last month or so I've been thinking again about having sex with men (it was so easy! I don't have to do all the work!) and I've been trawling a bit on some gay sites. I've met a couple of guys for a drink or coffee, one of whom lives two buildings down from me and we've become quite friendly (we run into each other all the time, went for a walk in the park yesterday and so on) but I'm not really looking for a coffee or a chat, I'm looking for sex. And I don't want it to be all nice. I want it semi-anonymous, just about fucking.

Anyway, one afternoon last week, my phone rang and a very pleasant male voice said "hi, this is David, from [the next street]", and once I'd gotten over my initial confusion I worked out that it was a guy I'd chatted with a few times some months ago, and who did indeed live quite near me. Late20s, nice-sounding guy. Like me, straight-ish. We had discussed my coming over and the two of us just watching porn (straight porn) and having a bit of a play. And he was calling to see if I was still interested. And did I want to come over right then.

I hesitated and said I'd have to check something and would call him back. And then sat there few a couple of minutes thinking. You see, I'm very keen on the idea of meeting guys for sex, but when it comes to actually meeting I often find that I don't want to very much. So I'll try to find reasons not to. I'll be chatting with some guy who sounds ideal, ticks all the right boxes, and then when he says "so when do you want to hook up, are you free now?" I find myself saying that now's not good, but maybe next week sometime would work. And what that really means is that I just don't want to do it enough to actually do it. And I think that's what happens a lot with women who give me the runaround on straight sites. They're interested, it all sounds fine.. but just not now. (I was once asked by a broker whether I wanted to join him and some other guys on a boat one weekend. I said I was busy that weekend. He said he hadn't yet told me which weekend.) And I don't think there's anything inherently dishonest about this either, but once you recognise that you're doing it you can watch out for it.

So I called David back and got his address and said I'd be there in ten minutes. He was much handsomer than I had expected and really very charming. We got on almost too well but managed after a while to put aside our essential niceness and had a bit of agreeable fun. I'll see him again. I did notice that his apartment was exquisitely done and so I think he's actually quite a bit more gay than straight and yes, I know this is just a stereotype.

I was also invited one morning last week to a gay fuckfest in a hotel room not far from where I live, about a ten-minute walk away and I really couldn't say no. I went there at 10am, there were about half a dozen guys and I was pleased to see that I was the hottest (which I do love, I'm so vain) and I fucked three guys and chatted a bit and left after about 20 minutes, explaining to them that I have a very short attention span. I was more in the mood to be fucked rather than fuck, but because I don't get fucked very often everything has to be exactly right, and a group's a bit distracting. I will get some cock in my ass soon. Last time was when my cop mate fucked me while Tina watched. And that was quite a while ago.

One quick note about this hotel room thing. At one point I was fucking the guy who'd organised it. I was on my back, he was above me. He said to me "we're about to have a visitor" and told me to hold still. Another guy came up and slid his cock into the guy's ass next to mine. Amazing.

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