Rod Butt Rest

I was in Melbourne over the weekend and caught up for a drink with Sam, my ex. I had sent him this picture earlier in the day, I spotted it in a camping equipment store (don't ask.)

I sometimes wonder what I saw in Sam. If you take away the good looks, the charm, the agreeable masculinity, the great body.. what's left?

Sarah: Update (and not a great one either)

As the one or two you who ever read this will remember, Sarah is the charming married woman I get together with once every couple of weeks (not the crazy married one, please try to stay with me on this). We started out fucking, but in the last 6 months or so we've stopped, and we just go have lunch and talk. She's very engaging.

She's filled in the gap by fucking other men. And, in most cases, telling me about it. Her husband found out a couple of weeks ago (unattended email account, domestic emergency...) and read all her emails. He asked her about me, as I was the first one, and we were still seeing each other, so she told him that these days when we catch up we just talk about food and grammar (if you know me, you'll know how exactly me this is) and this seemed to make it worse.

He called me on Thursday night, but luckily I was on a date (!!??!!) and couldn't talk. Then by Friday she'd talked him out of calling me again. He has, however, barred her from ever speaking to me again. Which is a shame, so we said our farewells.

I am a character in a book she wrote. I'm a bit arrogant but I talk her character into being blindfolded and felt up by a stranger. I like that bit - it happened.

It's in the stars...

For those of you who've never been on gaydar, the way it works it that you set up a profile, you tick various boxes, maybe add a pic and off you go.

You can choose to hide the answers to various fields, or just put "rather not say", so sometimes you see profiles where the guy for whatever reason doesn't want to disclose, for example, his cock size, or whether he practices safe sex. Or whether he's a top or a bottom.

All of these things are actually pretty relevant, you'd think.

But what's really annoying is that the one thing you absolutely can't hide (and I've asked gaydar about this) is your star sign. I can think of a couple of things wrong with this:

• it perpetuates the notion that gay men are like teenage girls. (In gaydar's defense, though, gay men are a bit like teenage girls - the only men's magazine you'll ever find a horoscope in is a gay men's magazine. If you don't believe me, go check. But I don't want to have sex with those men)
  
• star sign isn't even an input, it's calculated from the date you give as your date of birth. And most people on any dating or sex site lie about their date of birth. Maybe it's just the year, but I know when I do it I just put in the easiest date I can in the right year (not the actual year, of course). So it ever were relevant, it wouldn't work here in most cases