Trapped

I see Judith once every couple of weeks. I think she'd like it to be more often, but we each have our kids every second weekend (which in my case means I have to fly to another city - but that's another story) and our free weekends have been out of sync. Her kids live with her during the week. I quite like this.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy spending time with her and it's not just about sex. She's an amusing dinner companion and (unlike some of the people I have sex with) I wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with her in public.

But the sex is fantastic, and that's the real reason we have what we have. "And what, exactly, is so fantastic about it?", I can hear you asking. Well, as I wrote in an earlier post there's something incredibly sexy about Judith. She has olive-y skin and nature's blessed her with a body that just screams out fuck me. She's not athletic, but definitely not fat either. What makes her so sexy, I think, is that her body fat's distributed very evenly. Not really a tummy, no chunky thighs, just a lovely softening of all the contours of her body. It's like she's wearing a thin wetsuit. (Male readers may recall the episode of Get Smart where Max and 99 are in a submarine and 99's wearing a wetsuit. She then climbs up the ladder into the tower; the camera shoots her from behind. I was 16 when I saw it, I nearly came in my pants.)

She's very verbal during sex and likes me to be too. It's not usually something I'm all that comfortable with (I get embarassed, I think) but with her I'm so horny and so engaged that I can turn off my self-censor and just go with it. I think for both of us (and certainly for me) what's so fun about the way we have sex is that we do achieve that state of just being completely in the act itself, the fucking's all that matters, everything else gets pushed aside. And as a result, when we're done there's that lovely feeling that you've somehow left your body. Too often I feel like I'm an observer in my own life rather than a participant - but when Judith and I are fucking I'm all there.

So far so good. But this weekend, neither of us has kids. We've texted back and forth this week to figure out a time to 'catch up' and we're going for Saturday night. Dinner, maybe a movie, then sex and a sleepover. What could possibly be wrong with that, I can hear you ask?

I love all that. And I really like sleepovers, I love having a warm body next to me when I wake up (and not just because of the sexual possibilities, I actually do like the closeness). But usually when I stay at her place I have to be up early the next morning to go to work, and that suits me.

I'm a morning person, and when I wake up it's a brand new day. And if it's a weekend I'm already making plans. I don't have many free weekends (every second weekend I'm a father-of-four) and I guard my free time jealously. So when I say making plans, those plans may involve lying around watching football on television, or playing piano or just doing nothing.

So what'll happen Sunday morning is that I'll wake up about 7 with her. We may or may not have sex. But I'll start watching the clock. We'll go out for breakfast. I'll be thinking it's 9 oclock already.. the day's slipping between my fingers... then it'll be 10 or 11. I'll feel bad for thinking this, of course, and guilty. As we're having breakfast and coffee, as we're talking, I'll be looking for an elegant way to make an exit. Every bite of breakfast, every sip of coffee, I'm going to be looking for that exit.