Lisa's coming over

I was just chatting with Lisa (no, I haven't mentioned her before, but I'll fill you in later) and I told her what I was up to today (gym, piano, accountant, evening drinks) and she said that she was going to put aside part of her afternoon to masturbate.

So I had a brainwave. "You could come over here to my place and masturbate while I'm doing my taxes, and I can watch you out of the corner of my eye."

She thought that was a great idea and said that in that case, she'd bring some toys with her. More later..

I've had days like this at work too.

In case you're curious...

Me again.

So where's the missus...?

I've been having a few messages back and forth on some hookup site with a couple.. or maybe just a guy. And that's the issue. He's early 50s, bi, likes fucking guys, and if I believe his story, he was a wife in her early 40s who likes to join in. They live not far from me. So far so good, right?

I ran into him again this morning on msn and he said he was there with his wife and she wanted to see my bod. I was happy to oblige. Then she, apparently, wanted to see my cock. Again, happy to oblige. But at the same time I'm quite aware of the fact that there's a good chance that there's no wife.. it's just him.

Then he said, of course, that rather than the three of us meeting up, she wants him to meet me first. Oh, and she doesn't just want him to meet me.. she apparently wants him to fuck me as well.

So while they're on msn with me I gave them my landline number and asked them to call me. Just enough to say hello, didn't have to be a long call at all. He said that they'd call me on Tuesday. Tuesday? Huh? This is when I really start to smell a rat. If he's on the level he's there with his wife, it's 8am on a Sunday morning, they're very keen to meet.. and all of a sudden she's in the shower. And he can call me but she can't. So I said they should call me when she gets out of the shower. But no, he wants to call me on Tuesday. He knows exactly what my issue is. I don't think she exists. He knows why I'm keen for them (or her, really) to call me. And if she was real it'd be very easy to prove....

Postcript: He had told me a while ago that he has a mild foot fetish, and wanted to see my feet. Which I showed him on cam. No harm in that. Anyway, I do love having my feet rubbed, but it's just not really a very sexual thing. But there are some fetishes I can easily accomodate and that's one of them.

So today when I was chatting with him and his alleged wife, he told me that she had a foot fetish as well. And she wanted to see my feet. Right... anyway, I did it. I showed him (or possibly, them) my feet. He said that she wanted to see me come on my feet. Now, of course I'm smelling a pretty huge rat by this point (what an amazing coincidence... his wife likes feet too!) so I declined.

Just after lunch

I was at Tony's BBQ during the week, the one with the cops and firefighters and whatnot, and it was very good fun. I have a running joke with my ex about it; he imagines it (quite vividly) as a seething fuck-fest of hot masculine men; the reality's quite a bit tamer.

I was able to tell him the next day that I was, in fact, the first guy to get in the spa naked (there were a couple of guys in there already, but with speedos on), which he loved.

And then I told him that at one point, with 8 or 9 guys in the spa, someone starting asking each of us when was the last time (if ever) that we'd had sex with a woman (remember, this is a gay party). Please ask me, I thought.. and sure enough the question eventually came around to me. "Just after lunch", I said.

Spitroast.

I was at the beach yesterday with Claire (who, you will no doubt remember, I'm always a bit in love with) and as we were lying there together she asked me:

Claire: So what about this woman you're seeing?
Me: (pause) err... which one?
Claire: The one you're sleeping with
Me (longer pause)
Claire (rolls her eyes), oh, sorry, I forgot.. "which one?"

So I told her about I'd been up to with my mate the cop and Tina, and where I was with Judith and Joan. And the married one I've started seeing (no, you haven't heard about her yet).

Claire liked the stuff about me and my cop mate and Tina, and she made a series of gestures with her hands, like she was playing with dolls. "What's it called again, when the woman has a cock in her mouth and one at the other end?".

I really couldn't do that with Claire.

Men vs Women

I've been asked a few times what are the biggest differences between having sex with men or with women. There are a few, as you'd expect, but one of the biggest and most important is this: if you're having a woman come over to your place for sex, you have to make sure the place is reasonably tidy, you have to change the sheets and make sure the bathroom's clean.

With men, all you need to do is make sure you have lube and condoms. They don't care about the rest.