Rod Butt Rest

I was in Melbourne over the weekend and caught up for a drink with Sam, my ex. I had sent him this picture earlier in the day, I spotted it in a camping equipment store (don't ask.)

I sometimes wonder what I saw in Sam. If you take away the good looks, the charm, the agreeable masculinity, the great body.. what's left?

Sarah: Update (and not a great one either)

As the one or two you who ever read this will remember, Sarah is the charming married woman I get together with once every couple of weeks (not the crazy married one, please try to stay with me on this). We started out fucking, but in the last 6 months or so we've stopped, and we just go have lunch and talk. She's very engaging.

She's filled in the gap by fucking other men. And, in most cases, telling me about it. Her husband found out a couple of weeks ago (unattended email account, domestic emergency...) and read all her emails. He asked her about me, as I was the first one, and we were still seeing each other, so she told him that these days when we catch up we just talk about food and grammar (if you know me, you'll know how exactly me this is) and this seemed to make it worse.

He called me on Thursday night, but luckily I was on a date (!!??!!) and couldn't talk. Then by Friday she'd talked him out of calling me again. He has, however, barred her from ever speaking to me again. Which is a shame, so we said our farewells.

I am a character in a book she wrote. I'm a bit arrogant but I talk her character into being blindfolded and felt up by a stranger. I like that bit - it happened.

It's in the stars...

For those of you who've never been on gaydar, the way it works it that you set up a profile, you tick various boxes, maybe add a pic and off you go.

You can choose to hide the answers to various fields, or just put "rather not say", so sometimes you see profiles where the guy for whatever reason doesn't want to disclose, for example, his cock size, or whether he practices safe sex. Or whether he's a top or a bottom.

All of these things are actually pretty relevant, you'd think.

But what's really annoying is that the one thing you absolutely can't hide (and I've asked gaydar about this) is your star sign. I can think of a couple of things wrong with this:

• it perpetuates the notion that gay men are like teenage girls. (In gaydar's defense, though, gay men are a bit like teenage girls - the only men's magazine you'll ever find a horoscope in is a gay men's magazine. If you don't believe me, go check. But I don't want to have sex with those men)
  
• star sign isn't even an input, it's calculated from the date you give as your date of birth. And most people on any dating or sex site lie about their date of birth. Maybe it's just the year, but I know when I do it I just put in the easiest date I can in the right year (not the actual year, of course). So it ever were relevant, it wouldn't work here in most cases

Me, again.

My niche, apparently.

I haven't posted anything here for a while. I've been out of town for a few weeks (Melbourne) and didn't get up to much at all while I was down there. Mostly out of sheer exhaustion. But I did have one rather fun encounter.

I was staying at a friend's place and one afternoon I logged on to a gay cruising site (squirt, if you must know) and started chatting with a young man in his mid-20s who had a fairly particular thing he wanted. His fantasy, it turned out, was for him to be sitting in his apartment with the door unlocked. Then an older somewhat bossy man shows up. He gets on his knees and the older man sticks his cock in his mouth and then fucks his face. Then comes. And then leaves without saying anything.

As luck would have it, this young guy wasn't all that far from where I was staying. So I jumped in the car and went on over. I buzzed him from downstairs, he let me in. I climbed the stairs, expecting the worst (skinny guy? covered in tatts? piercings?). I pushed the door open and went in.

He was sitting on the couch, and seemed quite presentable. Just wearing shorts and a baseball cap (which I promptly took off and threw across the room). I know exactly what's required in these situations, so I grabbed his head and pushed it down onto my cock and started fucking him. Grunting a bit, telling him what to do. I have fantasies like this myself, of course, but I'm too fussy to let a complete stranger walk into my place and do something like that to me. And I couldn't do it with someone I'd met, it'd feel wrong somehow. But it does mean that I understand the dynamic quite well. I do get some vicarious pleasure out of it, knowing what it must feel like for the guy who's being fucked by a bossy stranger. But more than that, I've come to really enjoy being the bossy stranger.

Anyway. I came in his mouth. We gave each other a shy smile. Then I left. All very good fun.

Lawyer

On one of the adult sites I'm on (and yes, there are quite a few... given my range of interests) there was a profile I rather liked. 32yo woman, not all that far from me, and with very little written in the profile. Less really is more, I find.

I messaged her, she messaged back. We shifted to msn. She was quite amusing and punchy on chat and I decided to overlook her use of 'lol'. She was, she told me, a lawyer. She asked me what I was doing on that site and I said I was looking for women who wanted to fuck around. I'm quite honest. I asked her, and the answer was a bit more complicated.

She said she'd only put a profile up because of her work; she was representing a guy who'd met someone on that site, and he'd ended up in a relationship and it'd all gone sour and they ended up in court. And she figured she needed to go on the site to see what was going on. Or something like that. I didn't quite believe her. We chatted for a few days then I suggested we meet for coffee.

I met her. She was tall and attractive and very nervous. I was the first person she'd met in this way and it showed. We had a coffee and a chat, and a couple of things she said made me pretty sure that we'd end up fucking before too long. I fixed her phone and she said something like 'now we have to have sex then', and it was kind of a joke but I think also a way for her to give herself a bit of a nudge.

After the coffee date we arranged to meet up two days later, in the evening, for some fun. But at the last minute she backed out. I wasn't too upset; I'd had a busy day and I wasn't all that horny. Also, I really did thing that she wasn't playing games - we really would end up fucking anyway.

Then on Tuesday afternoon I got a message from her. We were both going to be out of town from the following day for a couple of weeks so any conceivable cock-in-cunt action wasn't going to be til mid-January at the earliest. But she was wondering what I was up to right then. And the answer of course, was not much.

So she jumped in a cab and came over. The highlight was when we were having a mid-fuck break, the sort of thing where if we were smokers we'd be having a cigarette, and she asked me how old I was. I told her and she had a minor freakout. Then, when she'd calmed down we fucked again.

And Sarah.

I'd sort of been avoiding fucking Sarah. It's complicated - I like spending time with her (more than with any of the other random people I fuck) and the sex is a bit prosaic. The last couple of times we've seen each other has been to do with food and I was sort of hoping that our friendship had somehow shifted, that we were more into eating than fucking.

I suggested to her that we have lunch one day at one of those superbly confrontational korean restaurants in Strathfield, which she agreed to. Then she called me back and asked whether our relationship was moving into some post-sexual phase. Which I think we both know would be a little uncomfortable, what with her being married and stuff. And by this I mean that it's perfectly fine for a happily-married woman to meet up with someone for sex every so often, but once there's no sex it's all a bit hollow and vaguely creepy.

One of the many things I like about Sarah is her use of language (we are quite alike in this) and she said that if our relationship was just about eating then that would be ok with her, but that her preference was "to go on all the rides".

I left it at lunch. Then a day before I realised that I was actually pretty horny so I told her to come over to my place instead. We fucked. Chatted. back to normal.